Back to Alexandria::::::::::::::::::::::::
Made the drive in from Oklahoma this morning.. it was uneventful except for a few miles of "lostness" in SE Oklahoma.
I did have an adventure when I got to Alexandria however... I warn you this is NOT for the faint of heart and I recommend most of you not read further if you are the least bit queasy about odors and body things......
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Ok.. so I got my room back in the same quasi respectable place I had before (The Clarion) and got a room near where my last one was. I got semi unpacked and noticed the internet hardwire connection was literally in pieces. Sooooo.. I called the desk and they moved me... to the room across the hall. I got moved in.. the internet was just wonderful (not so common according to fema lore in this hotel) and I was happy. I went out for BBQ an hour or so later and came back to the room with some fruit and sherbet from Albertsons. About this time I went to the bathroom to use the facilitiies and opend the lid to the toilette and OH MY GOD there was a world champion turd in that thing. Now I only write about it because you are still not thinking big enough... Imagine one of those really large summer sausages in the mall this time of year.. and add maybe half an inch of diameter.. foot and a half long it was in one unbroken piece and resembled a piece of wood in the bottom of my toilette...surprised it did not lap over the edge... ok.. about this time my admiration for the sheer size of this thing wore off and I was seriously grossed out... I mean.. the maid missed THIS?... soo.. I called down to the front desk.. and told her the tale of the world champion turd sunk in my toilette. While she offered to move me again... (ok.. Iwas actually unpacked by this time and figured the bathroom would clean but the internet may not work out in another room sooo... I elected tostay).. I managed to get her to send up somoene to help me.. I expected a maintenance guy but got one of the housekeepers instead with some cleaning supplies and a plunger...
Here is where i shot cola through my nose... the cleaning lady came in.. apologized for the mess and went into the bathroom.. Literally shrieking she exclaimed "Lord have mercy.. someone must have died birthing this abomination!!!!!" at the top of her lungs..."Sweet Jesus help us!!!" and other religious offerings... I mean I knew it was a record but I figured the world hardened staff would just not react to such a thing. Makes me wish I had a picture. Ok.. it took some time.. but eventually it all went down I counted five flushes.. and she used her cleaning materials to return my bathroom into a usable place instead of a trophy room and then left still muttering God's wrath on the perpetrator of such an event.
Without trying to be mean.. it is fitting to remember Alexandria in such a way.
I did have an adventure when I got to Alexandria however... I warn you this is NOT for the faint of heart and I recommend most of you not read further if you are the least bit queasy about odors and body things......
Space left blank on purpose
Space left blank on purpose
Space left blank on purpose
Space left blank on purpose
Ok.. so I got my room back in the same quasi respectable place I had before (The Clarion) and got a room near where my last one was. I got semi unpacked and noticed the internet hardwire connection was literally in pieces. Sooooo.. I called the desk and they moved me... to the room across the hall. I got moved in.. the internet was just wonderful (not so common according to fema lore in this hotel) and I was happy. I went out for BBQ an hour or so later and came back to the room with some fruit and sherbet from Albertsons. About this time I went to the bathroom to use the facilitiies and opend the lid to the toilette and OH MY GOD there was a world champion turd in that thing. Now I only write about it because you are still not thinking big enough... Imagine one of those really large summer sausages in the mall this time of year.. and add maybe half an inch of diameter.. foot and a half long it was in one unbroken piece and resembled a piece of wood in the bottom of my toilette...surprised it did not lap over the edge... ok.. about this time my admiration for the sheer size of this thing wore off and I was seriously grossed out... I mean.. the maid missed THIS?... soo.. I called down to the front desk.. and told her the tale of the world champion turd sunk in my toilette. While she offered to move me again... (ok.. Iwas actually unpacked by this time and figured the bathroom would clean but the internet may not work out in another room sooo... I elected tostay).. I managed to get her to send up somoene to help me.. I expected a maintenance guy but got one of the housekeepers instead with some cleaning supplies and a plunger...
Here is where i shot cola through my nose... the cleaning lady came in.. apologized for the mess and went into the bathroom.. Literally shrieking she exclaimed "Lord have mercy.. someone must have died birthing this abomination!!!!!" at the top of her lungs..."Sweet Jesus help us!!!" and other religious offerings... I mean I knew it was a record but I figured the world hardened staff would just not react to such a thing. Makes me wish I had a picture. Ok.. it took some time.. but eventually it all went down I counted five flushes.. and she used her cleaning materials to return my bathroom into a usable place instead of a trophy room and then left still muttering God's wrath on the perpetrator of such an event.
Without trying to be mean.. it is fitting to remember Alexandria in such a way.
posted by Steve Morse- Adventures in Disasters at 5:02 PM
5 Comments:
Glad you made the trip OK. The bathroom situation is one of the funniest FEMA stories I have ever heard. It could only happen to you. Trip to the airport was uneventful. We enjoyed your visit. Mom
For more tales of Mr. Hankey, please tune into South Park on Comedy Central ...
~Liz
See this is the reason that I am so happy that I get to marry you. You take what others might consider a nightmare situation and you make it humorous. I get to experience your sense of humor on a daily basis. This is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. I love you
Trena
LMAO...
SWACK!
Your baby girl.
Louisiana will not be the same without you and your wonderful humor. I hope the trip home is less eventful as this one. You and Trena have a wonderful holiday.
California Sunshine
(the "old" lady)
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